Researcher wellbeing: it isn't all about me!

I am a researcher who has been working on crime and policing for over 20 years. In that time, I have been exposed to a wide range of distressing topics (including rape, murder, and child abuse) in a variety of formats. For example, police recorded crime data, written witness/victim statements, autopsy reports, crime scene photographs, and video footage (such as CCTV of crimes taking place, walkthroughs of crime scenes, and interviews with victims and suspects).

I am often exposed second-hand, but have also conducted interviews and focus groups with vulnerable people, meaning I have heard their lived experience of violence and abuse first-hand. I’ve also interviewed perpetrators whilst they attempt to justify and explain their criminal behaviour.

All of my research has an applied focus, and I am fortunate to see many of my research outputs translate into positive real-world outcomes. However, whilst the work is rewarding, it does take its toll and so it is important to think about how I stay well working in this space.

There is a growing discussion about researcher wellbeing (RWB), and what has been great about this is that it is starting to move away from just the researcher being responsible for looking after themselves. Don’t get me wrong, we all need to take responsibility for our own wellbeing (more on how I manage this soon) but we do not work in a vacuum. We need support structures around us – at work and at home – to help us manage wellbeing and engage in effective self-care.

For example, what is the point in having good self-care measures in place if you do not have the time or space to action this due to unrealistic demands and deadlines? The pressure to succeed – and overcome imposter syndrome (where you never think you are good enough) – can also pile on the pressure (or appear to) as we strive to make our way in the research world.

So, how do I look after myself?

Let’s start with work. I am careful about where I work. I am lucky enough to have a home office and so can shut the door on work when I finish for the day. However, I do not work on emotionally demanding data in this space. I don’t want to contaminate it, so I will go onto campus. This has the double whammy benefit of meaning I am working with others too – something that I find really helpful when working on not-so-nice data.

I also limit my exposure to content – for example, only working on raw data for two days a week maximum, and not looking at data I don’t need to see (why look at crime scene photographs if the physical description gives you all the data you need to answer your research question?).

I am also super boundaried. I never used to be, but I am now and it has paid off in spades. This does not mean I don’t work overtime sometimes or do the odd free piece of work (there is so much free labour in higher education!) but it does mean I’m selective about what I do. I say no more than I say yes.

Some ways I manage my boundaries

• Regular counselling: after a difficult time emotionally, I accessed counselling for the first time when I was at rock bottom. Big mistake! I should have done this a lot earlier. I have been working with my counsellor for five years and it has completely changed my outlook on the world and my ability to set (and keep to) boundaries. My husband calls it my gym membership for my brain.
• Personal reflection: this helps me to stay on track emotionally. For example, if I have a difficult day, I make a conscious effort to understand why. Do I just feel ill or tired, or is something else (that I need to work on) surfacing?
• Knowing my limits: we all have our own limits about what we can work on (e.g., topics, formats (video/audio/images/text etc.)). Knowing what I can and can’t work on personally helps me make informed decisions about what work I engage in. I am also conscious that limits change and I can’t take it for granted that just because I have worked on a topic before, I will be okay to do so again. Whenever a new project comes up, I consciously sit down and think about whether I feel emotionally prepared to work on it. If it is a no, then I don’t apply for the job.
• Work-life boundaries: I don’t have (and never have had) work emails come to my phone. We can all feel the pressure of FOMO (fear of missing out) but, believe me, for the few things you miss, you take so much pressure off yourself. Also, it is a bit of a get-over-yourself moment. Yes I’m great (!) but so are other people – as a wise man once said to me “there are very few things that have to be done by you right now” – and he’s right, most things can wait or be picked up by someone else.
• Clear communication: if I think I will struggle to meet a deadline, I am transparent about this and work with colleagues/PIs to understand what needs to be prioritised and re-set deadlines. I’ve been known to say to people yes I can write that but it will have to wait a month. And, you know what, most of the time that is fine (so long as you deliver!).
• Logging off for lunch: I never eat at my desk. I always go to another room or outside.
• Stopping work at the end of the working day: my husband will come into my office and question me about what I’m doing, just to signal the working day is over, and nine times out of 10 I realise I can finish within 15 minutes and pick up again the next day.
• Taking time off for illness: me not firing on all cylinders is not worth anyone’s time. Better to be ill in bed for a few days and then back to fighting fit quicker.

As a final thought on me, I have been reflecting on my place in the research world these past few years. Universities are a challenging space to work in, with demands to deliver across a wide range of targets and outcomes. There is also a significant issue with overwork and free labour, with success often linked to people who do both of these and opportunities limited for those who do not.

I have managed this personally by reflecting on what I want from work. Once I came to the conclusion that I don’t want to be a professor and I’m really happy working in frontline research, it took pressure off me. I focus on making each individual project successful, rather than setting my sights on promotion. That is not to say I don’t want a good reputation or to be well thought of – of course I do! – I have just re-adjusted my career expectations to what I want to do rather than what tradition tells you the path is, and I’m a lot happier for it.This might not work for everyone (it is great to be ambitious if that is for you) but I’m here to say it is ok to not be – you can still be very successful and well respected in your field.

The other benefit of this decision is that it gives me the headspace to think about which projects I want to take on and which I don’t. When working in an emotionally demanding space, it is okay to say no to topics or types of data you don’t feel able to work with. For example, I don’t like working with images, and so try to avoid or minimise my exposure to these.

How do others help me look after me?

Well, it depends who they are. Let’s start with colleagues. When you are part of a research team, it is important to build a supportive culture. This can be through regular meetings, making sure there is space to take breaks, and offering flexible work allocation and tasking. These are easy to say but not always easy to do.

Let’s take regular meetings, for example. It is easy to drop these when things get busy, but a regular slot (e.g., the same time each week), even if it just for 30 minutes, can really help create a dedicated space to raise issues. Meetings do not need to be formal, though you can have a regular agenda if that helps you keep these productive and/or remind you to give everyone space to raise issues.

Space to take breaks is not just about time, it is about location. Take breaks outside, together, perhaps on a walk to the nearest café. If someone needs to offload, sitting in their office won’t help them get into a good headspace to do this.

Flexible working is not just about where we work (e.g., home or the office) but also about knowing each other. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, different up and down days, different things we find hard to manage. Being open with your team really helps secure flexibility when you need it – for example, when working on a project about abuse, I found it really difficult to work on cases of psychological abuse, whereas others found physical abuse more difficult. By talking about this, we were able to reallocate work so that, even though we were all working on nasty things, we could at least try to minimise the harm to ourselves.

Your principal investigator (PI)/research lead is also an important source of support – and it is ok to choose not to work with people if you find they do not support you well (there is a reason I have done the majority of my work with two PIs the past five years – they are awesome and look after me well). A good PI will take you seriously when you raise concerns and work with you to find a resolution, rather than tell you what do to. I’m also a strong believer in leaders leading by example. I have been fortunate to work brilliant PIs who I felt well supported by, and so I now try to model my own PI style on them.

So, who else can help me? Well, in my case, my husband is a tower of strength. We have a very simple code (blue for a sad day, red for an angry day, etc.) that allows me to express my feelings without having to talk about specifics (something I don’t want him to have to know, plus sometimes I can’t tell him anyway due to confidentiality). My best friend is also pivotal to my wellbeing, as he provides honest and direct advice (including things like “don’t apply for that job Amy you will hate it!”). It is not just me knowing me that keeps me safe, it is others knowing me too.

What else do I need? A key piece of the jigsaw (and, if I’m honest, a piece that has room for improvement) is a fully supportive employer. I would encourage everyone to think carefully about where you work – find out what support is in place in advance (e.g., access to counselling support) and don’t be afraid to ask for reasonable adjustments if you need these to manage your self-care and wellbeing.

I hope you have found my reflections useful to get you thinking about your wellbeing. Please do feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn or read an open access paper I've co-written about how to prepare for working with emotionally demanding material.

Dr Amy Burrell, Research Fellow, School of Psychology, University of Birmingham